Real talk.

I have a multitude of things I'm thinking today. I don't know why.

Here it goes.

1. School has started. and I'm already all over the place. I haven't even had to work this week. Its not like this week has been crazy busy either. I guess i'll just have to accept I'll always be this crazy, neurotic mess. My husband is a lucky man I tell you.

2. Three words. THE MINDY PROJECT. Why do I always do this to myself? I ALWAYS start an awesome show right after starting a new class. It happened last semester with Revenge. This is just a trend that I'm going to have to deal with in my life. BTW this show is amazing. I don't even know how I'm just NOW realizing this show exists.

3. SHARK WEEK. Ok so TMI.. this is an emotional week. My ovaries are kicking my ass, i've cried at least 10 times.

Over things like this... Just watch it. It's a great story about a friendship between goat and a donkey. After you watch it you'll know how ridiculous I've been.

4. Have you heard about the Crossfit war that is among us?! Oh geez. I'm all about fitness in any form as long as you're being safe. I don't know why people are getting so butt hurt ( I don't like this phrase BUT the shoe fits) about people disagreeing about fitness preferences. I don't really know a whole lot about Crossfit to judge, and am neither for or against, but for love, just work out people. Endorphins make people happy. If you are interested definitely google Erin Simmons/Crossfit and get her take on it and of course the million other people in the defense, I don't even have to post the link, it's so popular right now. 

5. This kid. I babysat him today for a friend of mine and I can't even tell you how much I love kids at this age. He can talk and tell me EXACTLY what he wants, theres no guessing. Which makes me think, how am I even going to conceive children before this age?! I'm dramatic this week folks, sorry. 

I have at least 1.5-2 years of getting more mentally mature and before my eggs start start exiting my body at rapid volumes. 

6. I've been struggling this week. Not just emotionally, but mentally. About 4 weeks ago for boot camp's 8-week challenge, we all took weights/measurements and BMI.  

I'm 5'8" at 163lbs, and BMI: 24.8.  I HATE NUMBERS. I don't weigh myself normally because I obsess about the stupid numbers. I judge how well i'm working out/eating by how my clothes fit, I honestly do this.

I had been eating right and working out since February and I was so surprised at the numbers at the weigh in and why they weren't going down! I wracked my brain trying figure out what I was doing wrong. 

This is where I messed up folks. 

I was worried about the numbers. THOSE DAMN NUMBERS. They don't define me, or make me a better person, or make me less attractive. I'm not overweight, close (by number standards) but not there completely. I'm taking more strides than I ever have in my lifetime to live healthier. Once I take the focus off the numbers, that's really when my healthier lifestyle can begin. I will do better to remember this and if you struggle with this because of the ugly picture society put in your head, then you should too. 

My moment of insecurity, but I'm embracing it today to work toward the better. 

I'm ending this note on #6. Totally random, but it's ok for today.