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Saturday, February 27, 2016

Week 25: Allie girl, it's not your birthday yet.

Holy appetite Batman. Up until now, I've really felt like I wasn't super hungry and would eat pretty normally, but now I feel like this:

I can feel how fast this girl is growing and it makes me feel like my daily required intake is about to double. Nearing the third trimester makes me a little nervous because now the countdown is really on: 100 DAYS.  

So I had a Doctor's appointment this week and got to hear my sweet little Allie girl's heartbeat. I did the dreaded fasting for the 1hr Glucose Tolerance Test, which was crappy, but over with thank goodness.  The glucose didn't really start bothering me until after lunch, my stomach was all kinds of messed up. I started reading that it happens to a lot of women after the test and I called my doctor's office and of course they confirmed my symptoms were completely normal.

Allie is measuring absolutely perfect and everything was seeming to be going well, until this past week I started to feel some pelvic "heaviness", if you will, not pressure, so my Doctor was concerned with "preterm" labor symptoms, but decided NOT to measure my cervix at this appointment... and to schedule it for Monday. I have a hate/hate relationship with this doctor, I don't know if she was being lazy or the fact that she broke her arm (she claimed she fell out of a swivel chair, I think a patient probably got pissed and pushed her, just my thoughts) and didn't want to ask someone to help her check. I didn't want to spend one more minute with her today, so I said ok and would come back Monday. 

Fast forward to the next day: so I miraculously get called off work, and good thing I did, because those stomach cramps carried over to the next day and were accompanied with horrible loose stools. Called my doctor for good measure and never believed she would have said to go to straight to the labor and delivery wing to get checked. ***cue crazy mama anxiety***

So as i'm driving there I feel all the pelvic heaviness in the world and actually think, "Omg. This child thinks today is her birthday. No, Allie it's not. You have to stay in there a little bit longer". 

She decided to to move all about, showing us how active she is, this went on the entire time we had her on the ultrasound. It really did make my mama heart happy. 

No worries everything is ok, clearly my body hates sugar and was super upset from the day before, and cervical length is perfect and clamped shut, at least we got that cervical length checked! Just found out i'm anemic, which i'm completely fine with because it's fixable. 

Worrying about pre-term labor is scary, and is something I will be paying closer attention to symptoms more than I have been. I feel good about my decision to call the doctor even though it was nothing. 

Cravings: Mashed potatoes, pickle chips, and orange sherbet! 

Aversions: Salmon, fish. 

Sleep:  Sleep has gotten much more uncomfortable. I think the blessed second trimester has given me all the rest and sleep I could ask for. My goodness the dreams are continuing to get weirder and weirder. Had a dream I was on a cruise ship with my brother and we both fell off the ship, but could breathe under water. What?

Here's to hoping Week 26 is completely uneventful. 

Until next week!

Sunday, February 21, 2016

Week 24: Our baby girl's name, judgers, and peeing too many times in one movie.

I'll tell you how many times, 4.

Four is way too many. On Valentine's day, we went to see Deadpool, and I don't know what the deal was, but I had to go pee too many times. It was almost embarrassing, I'm sure the people in the theater thought I had some really bad issues. Thank goodness I was at the very end of the row. I thought for sure I wasn't supposed to pee this much again until the third trimester?!

***Deadpool is hilarious and Ryan Reynolds is perfect.

So I broke down this week and finally invested in some real maternity clothes. It was pretty wonderful actually. I didn't realized how comfortable maternity jeans were. I finally have a bump to hold up the jeans and leggings. I will tell you that the store lady was telling me how big your boobs can get during pregnancy and going up 1-3 cups sizes was her answer. That seems a bit excessive! So far i've only gone up a 1/2 a cup, but i'm lopsided so it's a strange situation all together. I probably should have said TMI at the beginning of this post, but then again I probably should have put it on the front page of my blog. Texan Girl Talks, The lifestyle blog where I share TMI.

I'm still on the 1-3 cup sizes up thing, and that makes me think of all the excretions coming my way.

Nesting is real, y'all.

I invested in a lot of room decor this week! I went to a Hobby Lobby that was an hour away, but came back with some pretty awesome loot at an amazing cost. We've I've decided our colors are going to mint and coral, she's a summer baby, so summer colors were a must.  I can't wait to pull my Pinterest baby nursery together! This nursery will be all the creativeness that I wanted to put in the rest of my house, but always put off because of food, cats and California cost of living.

Photo cred goes to my girl Sarah, You'll always be my LA photographer!!

Preggo Thoughts:
  • Now that I have somewhat of a bump, let the judgement begin! As I am walking out of Starbucks the other day with a tall coffee drink in hand, I noticed a lady staring at me.. So naturally I start staring back and she watched me drink my coffee all the way out of the store with a stank face of judgement. Listen, lady I know how much coffee I can drink without stressing out my baby. Chill out you big ol' judger. 
  • I had a dream I was drinking a gigantic glass of wine last night. I felt so guilty when I woke up. Weird. 
  • This was the first Valentine's day where I didn't drink any Champagne and Matt was the sweetest to not drink any in front of me (if he did I most likely would have cut him). We saved our bottle for June, POST BABY!  
  • Going maternity clothes shopping was absolutely hands down, the first time where I could see myself being a mom. It was the weirdest thing, I've been to the doctor, saw the positive pregnancy test, saw the ultrasound of the baby, but for the first time I could actually visualize being a mom. I don't know if was the lighting or the way maternity clothes showcased my bump, but it was a really great feeling and I think it helped that Matt was there to tell me how beautiful I looked, even though I felt like a bloaty whale. 
  • So the 4D option for ultrasounds can't be done at my regular ultrasound place! So i've been scoping out ultrasound places to go that will do the 4D ultrasound. I feel like I should wait a few more weeks to get it done. Any idea what week I should have it done at?!
  • My kitty cat, Gizmo is obsessed with sitting on my lap right next to our girl. I love it. 
Cravings: Fruit. Any kind of fruit. 

Aversions: Fish. I don't want fish of any kind. I hope this aversion goes away. 

Sleep: Is ok this week. I sleep pretty much when my head hits the pillow and am sleeping in the entire night except to go pee one time, and the one time I have to pee it's like Niagara falls. 

We've decided that our baby girl will be named Allison Jade Coates. I have had this name picked out since we found out the gender, literally we had a list and when the ultrasound tech left the room so the perinatologist could come confirm the gender, we went over three names and Allison stuck. I knew right away what I wanted to call her. The middle name however took a little bit to figure out. 

We will call her Allie for short! She will be our Allie cat! (still a cat lady...)

Anyways, we can't wait to meet you Allison! 

Thursday, February 18, 2016

10 years of me and you.

It has been 10 years since Matt asked me to be his girlfriend. Yes, we are that annoying couple that continues to celebrate how long we've been together.

Then when I look back, I see this...

My wonderful prom date to Senior prom 2006.

My wonderful guy that embraced my love of ocean, even if it meant driving 3 hours to stay for 2. 

Exploring new places and making memories. 

I recall the days of dancing and staying up all night. 

Keeping our traditions alive no matter how silly or expensive they maybe. 

To the days of the good ol Academy.. where I could only keep you as long as our visits would allow

I remember how I felt when you asked me to be your wife. 

The anticipation that the year of being engaged would bring. 

And the tears of happiness that I couldn't believe all my dreams were finally coming true. 

I remember the times happiness fled my mind all at once

I recall the days of being apart, which only meant the sweetest hellos. 

The pride I feel to be apart of your success.

And the thankfulness for you being there for mine. 

The changing of chapters to new places with loads of uncertainty. 

Being sure that new chapters are apart of our beautiful journey 

Over the years i've seen you as a prom date, boyfriend, fiance, husband, and now the future father of our little girl. I couldn't have picked a better person to be the father my child. She will have so many amazing times with you and will learn so many things. I can't wait for her to grow up to know the incredible person I've had the pleasure of sharing my life with over the past decade. I love you more and more everyday, I couldn't be more happy than I am today.  Meeting you so early in life was one of God's most wonderful gifts to me.

Thank you for being you, crazy, amazing, incredible you. Here's to the next 80 years bringing beyond amazing things into our lives. 

Saturday, February 13, 2016

Week 23: Pregnancy and Codes don't go together. At all.

This week was a little crazy for me. I decided to pick up an extra shift at work. Let's just say I will not be doing that again while pregnant. My ankles were pretty much sausages until today.

I will also tell you I participated hands on in a code (emergency) situation this week, and I was simply bagging a patient, not even doing compressions. I was so out of breath by the end. Needless to say, I felt super pregnant that day.

Pregnancy is not conducive with code blues. At all.

**To my nurse peeps: in case you were wondering about the code, it was a successful one! Woo!**

Lately, I've been super interested in having maternity photos done. However,  in #everythingcostsamilliondollars Los Angeles, CA, they charge on the upwards of $700-$1000 per session. Is it just me or does that seem a little pricy? Anyways, I was looking inside the heart of LA when looking for a photographer and came across some pictures that are kind of racy for a maternity session. I mean there was this one picture of a soon to be mom in lingerie looking into a crib... or basically be naked covered by a light sheet.

Nope. I will not be taking pictures like that.

I do like the pics where the show your belly but you're fully covered up in all other areas. I've noticed here in LA, more than anywhere else how they literally sexualize everything.  Maybe i'm a little old-fashioned, and not hip with the times, i'm totally ok with that.

I  truly think you can't put a price on photos because they capture a memory that you will cherish forever. So I'm on the hunt for someone! I'm sure i'll find something soon.

Until then I'm my own photographer... My hair was extra sexy this morning.

Pregnancy thoughts: 

  • My child will be here in 112 days. YIKES. 
  • We finalized on a name, just got to tell the family first!
  • A patient told me I was actually carrying my child in my butt. LOL. 
  • Smells are getting really, really intense for me. I literally walked in the hospital the other day and I could smell C.Diff clear to the other side. 
  • How many sizes could your boobs possibly get? This could get super costly with the changing of bras. 
  • I work the majority of Filipino people at work, and they always bring loads of filipino foods (which is pretty amazing). We all have a running joke that my kid will pretty much be eating Filipino food out of the womb and speaking Tagalog. ***They secretly think I don't eat enough, so they feed me ALOT*** Bless them, and I kind of believe all of this statement will be true. 
  • What thoughts do people have on birth photography? I've seen some really cool pictures, but I don't think I could have someone in there snapping away, while I'm expelling a child out of my Hooha. If you didn't do it, do you wish you did?
  • I'm convinced this girl will be a soccer player with as much as she kicks. HOLY crap. It's kind of my favorite though, it reminds me that being out of breath is so worth it. 
Cravings: Thai food again! I can't get enough spicy this week. Pancit, a Filipino noodle dish that is pretty amazing and I swear fills you up like crazy. 

Aversions: Salmon, Fishy anything. I really think it's the smell. 

Sleep: Sometimes I feel like I could sleep all day, other days I feel like I can't sleep at all.

Gizmo hanging out with sweet Baby A, he purred the entire time,  she was just kicking away! Clearly they were already bonding #siblings. 

Questions for you: 

What do you think about Maternity pictures? If you didn't get any, do you wish that you had them

Do you think your child ate more adventurous things if you did while you were preggo?

Friday, February 5, 2016

Week 22: Was that a belch or a demon?

I am now in the last week of the Fifth month!

Where is the time going? My belly is finally starting to grow! I'm so excited. We are 99% sure our child will have a full name by the time this month is over. That's even more exciting.

I am buying all kinds of girl clothes. I probably buy something every week, sorry Matt but I'm not sorry and if you say anything about my buying, I will snap you like a twig. #loveyou #hormones #thischildwillhavesomanycardigans

Did anyone notice while they were preggo that their animals got kind of protective? My cats are getting super weird. They will lay pretty much on top of me when ever i'm sitting down and my Greta girl guards our front door and back door. I won't lie I'm super grateful for that while Matt is MIA this week, but it's something i've noticed as my pregnancy has progressed.

Preggo thoughts:
  • My head is sometimes a bag of cats. Nothing makes sense and I feel like I don't know what i'm doing. This always happens when i'm on the phone with a doctor. Why?!?
  • My Glucose Tolerance Test is coming up. I have test anxiety, and praying that my pancreas is holding up his end of the deal by keeping up with my sugars! **I don't know why I think of my pancreas as a man.***
  • My dreams are crazy as hell. I had a dream my cat's leg was being held on by a button. It was strange. I also had a crazy dream I acquired C. Diff (horrible, beyond horrible diarrhea) from a patient and my job fired me for it. Why am I so strange?!
  • I had Braxton hicks contractions for the first time and wanted to cry. I kept thinking omg, i'm not doing this pregnancy right. No worries, it only happened once and i'm really a big old baby. #operationdrinkmorewater #iwonderhowi'mgoingtogetthroughlabor?
  • I hope my husband will continue to think my cankles are attractive. 
  • I'm 78% sure that my nipples are starting to excrete things. How far along were some of you when this started to happen? Am I imagining this? 
Real Talk for just a minute. So my doctor has informed me that my child has a small calcium deposit in her heart. My AFP levels are normal so my doctor doesn't think that it has anything to do with downs syndrome, which is typically indicative with calcium deposits. So we're doing another ultrasound to make sure it's nothing. 

This is what I do know: Her heart is the perfect size, she is growing perfectly for her gestational age, all the walls of the heart are intact and the blood is pumping through the heart just fine. I will continue to pray for her health and put my faith in the fact that everything will be fine. I also know, It won't matter one way or the other if my child has an anomaly because I will love her unconditionally either way.

Preggo symptoms!
  • My skin is super sensitive. I broke through a ton of sterile gloves the other day because my hands were sweaty, and my skin broke out in a horrible rash. Did anyone else have super sensitive skin when they preggo? I almost thought I was developing a latex allergy. 
  • I'm super sweaty. Why?! I also sometimes have hot flashes, oh the hormones! 
  • I feel like I waddle at the end of a 12 hour shift, it has got to be too early for a waddle. 
  • Gas is a problem this week. I straight up belched in front of a co-worker the other day and you would have thought a demon came out the way this man looked at me. **shame** I did say I was sorry, kind of, totally blamed the baby.. 

Cravings: Chocolate! Oreos! This might be a bit of a problem i'm sure. Trying to keep moderation in mind. Of course Salt and vinegar chips have never left this category!

Going on long walks with this girl will help keep my sugar cravings low (yeah, right.). Greta likes to make sure i'm going at her pace. Which is fast.

Aversions: Salmon. I made salmon this past week and it was not good. Either I didn't cook this right, or my body is just rejecting all things that are good for me.

Sleep: I could sleep all day everyday. This week I have literally slept for 8-9 hours a night.

Until next week! 

Wednesday, February 3, 2016

Lung Leavin' Day and something you didn't know about me.

I want to talk about something that is near and dear to my heart. Cancer.

We all know this word a little too well. As a nurse, I see this word at least once a day in someone's medical history and it makes me cringe.

It makes me think of the hard times this person might have encountered with treatments, endless doctor's appointments and countless prayers.

It makes me think of the children and spouse this person has, and what went through their minds.

It makes me think of what they will choose to endure because of their children.

You're probably wondering why the title of my post is Lung Leavin' Day, well I was contacted by a reader, someone I didn't know and she shared her INCREDIBLE story with me. I was so moved, that I had to write about it and create awareness.

I want you to meet Heather. She was diagnosed with Malignant Pleural Mesothelioma. At the time of diagnosis she had a sweet, little 3 month old girl and a husband at home. Her doctors told her she only had 15 months to live if she did nothing, and about 5 extra years with treatment.

Well we know the cause of Mesothelioma is caused by inhalation of asbestos. When Heather was a little girl she wore her Dad's coat often, who incidentally worked with drywall containing asbestos.

To her dismay, she knew she had to fight. She had to give everything she could to see her little girl, Lily, grow up.

That's when Heather had multiple rounds of chemo, radiation and had one of her lungs removed. Her sister came up with Lung Leavin' Day the day that lung was removed. It was one of the most positive things they could have come up with.

Heather and her family could have drowned themselves in sorrow over the loss of one of the most vital organs, but they overcame this obstacle by punching it in the face.

So every year on February 2, Lung Leavin' Day, they write their fears on plates and smash them in a fire. How therapeutic and amazing!

You better believe this amazing girl, Beat the Hell Out of Cancer and is a 10 year survivor!

Heather, our beautiful cancer survivor!
Heather throwing plates of fear in the fire, because they are not worth fearing! 

Overcoming adversity in the best way possible isn't always easy. So I want to open up about my own personal Lung Leavin' day, this day is the day I graduated College, which is one of the most monumental times of my life. 

Many, many people don't know this about me, but I didn't grow up in the conventional way. 

I don't really open up about my family because I don't have a good relationship with a good bit of them. Something you probably don't know about me, is that I grew up very poor and misguided. My mom didn't really accomplish very much in her life due to drugs and alcohol and my dad wasn't in the picture half the time, due to mental illness and very poor life choices.

More than a few of the people in my family thought I was destined to lead a life that my parents did.

So often times growing up I was told the following:

I would never go to college because I didn't have the money to go. 

I should most likely follow some kind of trade that didn't require very much school. 

I wasn't smart enough.  

Long story short, I had to figure out a good bit of life on my own. I refuse to fall into the "oh woe is me".  I used all of these words as fuel. Fuel to the fire of finding myself.

I wanted to change my life and where it was going. I needed something that was my own. That's where education came in. After high school, I figured out that I was actually pretty smart and can do this college thing pretty well. My new goal was to become the first woman in my family to graduate college.

I graduated with my first bachelors degree in 2012 and now two years later in 2014, yet another degree in one of the most respected professions, Nursing, and in May of 2016 I will graduate with my Bachelors degree in Nursing.

I did it. I was the very first woman in my family to graduate college.

In the times that I wanted to quit and give up, my grandmother's words resonated in my head, "you aren't smart enough". That made me try harder. Work harder. Do Better.  Do I let those words of doubt hurt me?


Those words pushed me to better myself, and enabled me to truly see what i'm made of. I'm done trying to prove them wrong, because I did so long ago.

I did this for me and no one else.

Moral of the story: You can literally do anything you set my mind to, no matter what it is.

I don't usually open up about things like this, because this is a very deep part of me. A deep place that I am just now starting to understand and become comfortable sharing.

I don't want you to feel sorry for me one bit. I had a lot of people in my life that came in and loved me and helped me to know my potential. Since my childhood, my Dad has stepped up to be one of the biggest supporters I have, he changed his life for the better to become apart of mine. I will forever be grateful.

Facing adversity happens to everyone, it matters what fire you choose to fuel, the positive or the negative. Like, Heather she made her situation a  positive one, in which ever direction it was going. It's wonderful to meet people in the world who have all the odds against them come out better on the other side.

A special thanks to Heather for continuing to spread awareness about Mesothelioma and her beautiful story!

Special people in my life today that never stopped believing in me, sometimes when I couldn't believe in myself. Thank you so much for contributing to my Lung Leavin' day!