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Friday, September 15, 2017

Just a Basic white girl and YMCA times.

It's hard to even think what I used to blog about before having a baby. I know I watched ALOT of TV. Well I still do that. So we're not too far off. 

I've been watching Pretty Little Liars. I can't even believe I just admitted that to the world. 
This show is about High schoolers with way too much time on their hands. 

I just started season 1, and SERIOUSLY WHO THE HELL IS A ALREADY?! This B has some serious time on her hands. And Aria better watch herself with that teacher boyfriend. 

The cats are still in the picture, more ungrateful these days. I guess they're still a little bitter, someone came in and stole their thunder.

I didn't mention to everyone that I work day shift now! I spend so much more time with this munchkin. Night shift was making me insane, I used to sleep so much and eat just as much. It was shameful. I miss my night shift folks so much, they think i've abandoned them. Well it wasn't you it was meeeeeeeee! Love you, Mean it. 

I'm so ready for Fall. Like any good basic white girl, I'm ready for the cardigans, PSL's, trendy fall shows and Target. 

Not like Target isn't already being visited weekly. Glad we got that cleared up. 

I mean this baby knows exactly what looks amazing. She knows exactly the amount of time that will be spent in the dollar section as well as the clothing section, especially since they just put out all the mustard yellow cardigans. We both fell in love with this hat. I couldn't help myself. 

Now if we could just live in a climate where we needed this always! Yes, my child is chewing on a squishy toy from the toy section that hasn't been sanitized. If you ask me, thats better than the cat food she was gnawing on earlier today. 

Spoilers: i'm not a crunchy, earthy mom. 

This was also .02 seconds before a meltdown occurred. 

Other than weekly Target excursions, I've started working out again. Like actually making an effort. I swear i've fallen off the wagon about 7983275896 times. 

Yes, I've joined the YMCA. It's no Gold's gym by any means but they have child care. I've mostly been frequenting the morning classes. So all the geri's (geriatrics) are there. It's amazing. 

Seriously though, I'm loving it. There's a pool and all kinds of activities to join. I refuse to become one of those nurses that doesn't practice what she preaches. 

Until I venture into other things, I guess i'll be kicking it with the oldies! 

Mamas coming back into the fitness world after taking some serious time off is hard. I did abs the other day and thought my intestines would start errupting. Not only that, Running is a joke. My legs just don't want to move anymore. I'm constantly on the move chasing around an irrational 15 month old, moving my legs any other time just seems wrong. 

Y'all this is an extremely accurate depiction. 

Mamas, don't worry if you can't get your body moving exactly like before. Remember, you really aren't like you were before. Not saying to stop trying altogether, just give yourself a break and keep going. Sometimes, the voice in my head gets to me, but the important thing is to keep going, no matter how much flab you have in all the places that wasn't there before. We all have the power to change it. 

Oh the guilt of motherhood! Well here's to me sitting on the couch tonight, reveling in the silence, cats and another episode of Pretty Little Liars!  

Thanks for listening to my rambles! 

Saturday, September 9, 2017

My baby is FIFTEEN months.

Yes, it's been Fifteen months since my baby was born. Words cannot express how grateful I am that Allie Jade is completely healthy and growing perfect.

From fresh out of the womb:

To little miss independent, wants to feed herself and doesn't want any help from anyone: 

I am so proud of who this baby independent and sassy, already at FIFTEEN Months. I wonder what 15 YEARS OLD will look like?!

However, I am one big emotional mess. Yes, my mama heart is just breaking. 

I never in my life thought I would be such a wreck. I think for the first time, I am coming to terms with time. Time passes so much faster when you have a child, maybe because a human is just changing right before your eyes.

I sit here and just remember all the amazing growth that has happened over the past year and know there are so many good times ahead, but can't help but miss the little baby I brought home just a year ago. The one that just needed all the snuggles, and now I have a year and three month old that is desperately trying to be independent.

I am not ready for that. Not. One. Bit.

Motherhood has absolutely changed every part of my life. Every mother at some point think of her life in spans of the ages of her babies. It happens. I think Mamas often grow with their babies. The perspective changes with each season.

Teething days and tantrums often look like this. 

Then there's days that you just wish you could freeze frame time. 

This baby is 27lbs and 31inches long. Somedays she only wants to eat blueberries, somedays I think she'll turn into a blueberry. I think she secretly hopes that too. 

Never mind the mounds of laundry you see behind me, I'll tell you right now it sat on the couch for a week. Do I feel bad about it? NOPE. We were way too busy playing. 

The only way I can get her to take a bath is with toys. If there are no legos, there is no bath. This is how we roll. 

In the last 15 months, I have the messiest house that i've ever had in my life, the dishes sometimes sit in the sink for days at a time. I have the world's happiest family and that's all I can ask for. 

In case you're wondering who I got to take my pictures: Courtney DeVries Photography, She's amazing and my BFF from High school.

Ps. I promise to blog more.

Love you, Mean it.

Tuesday, March 21, 2017

Holy Sleep Regressions and other stuff

Hello everyone, just popping my head in from over a month ago.

I hope everything has been peachy for everyone! My life lately has been consumed with night shift, getting back to normal and sleep regressions.

We have a 9 month old baby.

Time is flying.

If this child could take this shovel/spade everywhere with her, she would. She picks it up every single time we play. I wonder what she's planning to do with it?

If you're wondering what a sleep regression is, it looks a little something like this..

Except this child is incessant. I don't know how I got so lucky up until now. Allie had been sleeping through the night since she was 7 weeks old. 

To cry it out or not cry it out is the question. 

It also doesn't help that I work night shift and my child KNOWS when i'm not there. Bless Matt and his patient heart. I let Allie cry it out last night for 30 minutes. She fell asleep. 

I immediately took a shower and cried for an hour. I felt like a horrible mother. I know, I know she has to learn sometime to self soothe, but it also signifies another milestone in getting older. 

However. In the time this child slept, I did get a shower, Hell I even shaved. 

And changed my bed sheets. 

Sometimes after a hard couple of days weeks, you need something to make you feel whole again. 

Speaking of figuring out your life: this happened. 

Crawling. Mobile. This child is in everything now. She thinks she crawls like she's been doing since she exited the womb. 

I'm a little nervous when the walking thing happens. So I will savor this for now. 

Life in the fast lane, I can't catch up. 

This girl thinks she can also drive. I don't even want to imagine those hostile teen years. Don't even try to say those years won't be hostile, they will. 

I have no idea what is coming out of this child's mouth, but I must say these sassy shades on point.

So when I'm not working, I try to be social with these gals. I might not see them as much as I need to, but i'm so thankful they are always there. Still getting used to my big bifocals! What do you think? I think my face is too small for them. 

So night shift is basically my life. See those tired nurse eyes? Those are due to not enough sleep. Can I get an Amen from all my peeps from 3W? I'm just glad this little lady doesn't mind my crazy hours.  

This is my work family. We put the fun in dysfunctional and don't even care. No, seriously though these people make my life so much better, if I have to work at night it will only be with these peeps. 

So now i'm off to go work my glorious night shift. I hope everyone has an amazing night, just wanted to pop my head in and tell everyone i'm still alive for the most part.

Wednesday, January 18, 2017

A New Year to Remember

Happy New Year!!

I cannot believe it's 2017.

I don't know about you, but I had an amazing 2016. My life was forever changed and became so much better. I have accomplished much more than I thought I ever could.

With every passing year, we tend to expect more and more out of ourselves. Naturally, life happens and some of our goals and hopes tend to go by the wayside.

So thats why this year is going to be different. I have one goal: To be the best version of myself. 

As a nurse, I see mortality every shift, and it can make you really re-evaluate how you live. I'm really done with putting stipulations on myself and striving to do things that might not happen. I want to be satisfied with this year and every year, because life is way to short not to.

I plan to eat better for my health, to be more active to keep up with Allie, to be less stressed, to be an example for my children, but most of all to be better to myself, mentally.

Less stress = more years in our lives.

We don't know it, but the voice inside our head tells a lot of things and really can dictate how we live.   When you have a kid, they see everything you do. Everything. Even now at 7.5 months old.

I am extremely hard on myself, as most women are, about how we look. After having a child, everything changes. And I mean EVERYTHING.

I am the same weight I was before I was pregnant, however, I carry my weight in some of the weirdest places and my hips are a smidge wider. My clothes fit a little different, but mostly I look at my body very differently.

I am so proud of what my body has done. I birthed a healthy child.  I have nothing to be ashamed of.

The voice inside my head can often tell me a different story. That's what I need to change.

I just think of the voice Allie will hear in her head someday, and I want it to be a good, encouraging voice that tells her all the amazing things she can do, not what she can't.

Here's to an amazing year ahead of us, Let's do some amazing things.

Until next time!