A glorious day.

December 16, 2014, the day I was pinned as a Nurse Graduate.

I've longed for this day, for well over two years. The day I found out my Godfather had cancer, my life changed forever. This was back in 2006. Two weeks before I was graduating high school.

From a couple posts ago, I told you the why's behind my yearning for education, but I left out a very big piece. The how's I got to this point.

I got to this point with lots of support. No, this support didn't come from my family. It came from a very special person that God brought in to my life at a time when I needed him the most.

His name was Jerry, he was my mom's boss at one of the various jobs she floated through. When I met Jerry, he was a stern guy who didn't take bullshit from anyone. I emphasize this, because later on he ended up firing my mom for one reason or another and I told this man exactly how I felt.

I was 14.

I was 14 years old telling this man he was a piece of crap for firing a mother of three children, and telling him how awful he was for doing this. He took the bullshit this time.

From this point forward, he became a huge part of my life. Weird, I know, but all of his children were grown and he was at the retiring age and needed someone to look after.

Well I needed looking after.

I needed someone to encourage me.

I needed the support.

I needed a mentor.

He told me how smart I truly was and I was beginning to believe him. I was smart. He pushed me to do well in high school, to stick with the marching band, to stay out of trouble. To be better.

In four short years, this man had taught me how important it was to be self driven, motivated, and most of all to never give up. Perseverance was key.

April 2006 came, and he was diagnosed with throat cancer. I watched as he fought the cancer for four months. I watched the nurses and healthcare team work with him and nurture his healing process.

All I could think is, "I could do this".  It was then that Jerry read my mind, he said, " you know you'd be good at this".

I knew it.
This was it.
This is what I want to do.
Now how to put this in place?

Within the next couple of months, I went through a lot of change. I graduated high school.  I got a good job. I started applying for colleges. Within those months, Jerry beat cancer. Although, he beat the cancer, the treatments left him very weak.

So weak that he ended up getting in a very bad four wheeler accident. I know you're probably thinking... " what the hell was this man doing on a four-wheeler weeks after radiation and chemo?"

He lived in the country and the mail box was down a ways, so that's how he checked the mail. The man was hell on wheels. I loved that about him.

He was weeks into rehabilitation from the accident with a very bad brain bleed. It was going well.
I went to visit as often as I could. I was very busy, but always made time.

September 15, 2006, Jerry died. I don't remember feeling anything, but pain. I felt lost. I felt hopeless. My mentor was no longer there, to cheer me on, to love me and tell me I could do anything.

This started a very long road. A road that would lead me here. I had a lot of doors slam in my face, and but never stopped looking for an open door. I always remember the faith that man had in me to do well. I always heard his voice in the back of my mind cheering me on. His voice was louder than all the other negativity i'd heard in my life. So I always chose to listen to him.

No, he wasn't actually my Godfather, but God sure did bring a dad in my life when I needed him the most. He never left my side, and although he isn't here, I still feel him here today. He was one of the first people I thought of when I found out I passed my last test of nursing school.

You're probably wondering why this story was brought up when I am trying to tell you about my pinning day.

Well I had to explain how I got here. How I never gave up.

My Golden Girls.  

My Godmother Sandal. 

 I can't tell you how therapeutic writing is for me. It's broken down a lot of my walls and little by little I understand what I am capable of. It took a lot of courage to push the publish button on this one, but I have to say i'm so glad I did. Thanks for always listening to my ramblings and my heart.

Love, 

Ashley